Day 36, Thursday, February 5, 8.30 am - The Really Serious New Year's Resolution Club meets for the first time this weekend. I wonder if anyone will turn up.
It will be odd. I intend to bake a few cakes and open a few bottles of red, then watch everybody else indulge while I sip green tea and nibble on rice cakes. What a fun guy I've become...
I also wonder how many of our members realise that we're already a tenth of the way through the year?
I've been panicking ever since realising.
And I've also been panicking at my apparent inability to stop my resolutions proliferating.
We're meant to be returning to the warm embrace of the sofa by now and jettisoning all those ridiculously good intentions, but I seem to be collecting more and more on a daily basis.
I began with three main resolutions:
a) contact as many old friends/colleagues from my over-populated email inbox (I had no idea that 900 unsorted emails in your inbox was out of the ordinary until one of my neighbours burst out laughing).
b) get back to my 1989 weight (11st 7lbs - more laughing).
c) learn to play the piano to at least grade 3 (whatever that means - I think grade 8 is 'A' level standard, but I may be wrong).
I can report that:
a) I have to date received 174 emails from people I'd lost touch with over the years.
b) I'm down from 13st 3lbs to 12st 8lbs since the start of the year (although I seem to have hit a buffer over the last week) and
c) I am entered for my first piano exam in March (it's for buffoons, apparently, but it's a start).
Since then, though, there have been additions.
d) I won't eat crisps or sweets or drink alcohol for a year (that last one is copied from m brother-in-law and, amazingly, I'm still on track)
e) I will get myself the first six-pack of my life (I don't appear to have any stomach muscles at the moment, nor do I ever remember having any - how do I manage to stay standing up?)
f) I'll read at least two German books this year (no progress there, I'm afraid) and learn rudimentary Spanish (no progress).
g) I'll make more money than I did last year (which won't be very hard - all I need to do is get a paper round)
h) I'll learn how to blog (I reckon I've cracked that one) and try to master more domestic technology (I can't work the video, our cameras and I'm barely literate when it comes to computers. Jan's taught me how to use the Dyson, unfortunately).
i) I'll swim 50 lengths in one go at the local swimming pool (yet to find my swimming trunks)
j) I'll finish unpacking our removal boxes (we moved into our current house three years ago - or was it four?) and I'll put up a few pictures and paint the odd wall or two (no progress).
k) I'll start my own website (no progress).
l) I'll play at least one round on golf to seven over or less (I last picked up a club three months ago but I intend to make a comeback once the snow has melted).
m) I'll improve as a cook (Jan is getting food poisoning a lot less so the signs are good...)
n) I'll eat more fresh fish.
o) I'll do some DIY and clean some of the house at least once a week (I'm considering relegating that to once every two weeks).
p) I'll sort out the study so that we can at least get in the room (no progress at all).
q) I'll stop making so many stupid resolutions and try to get a life...
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